I sat here for almost 20 minutes tonight, starting a subject and stopping several times without writing a single thing I though worth writing. In fact, I'm still at it.
I think the problem is, I'm unbelievably bored.
Bored with life. In general. Things have gotten far to mundane. I need to find something to shake things up, and just break the routine.
Work is incredibly boring, even with some of the exciting things that occur. I've been doing the job long enough that even the exciting things are routine, ya know? They are the same exciting things over and over. Variations on a theme. Amazingly routine.
Home is home. I have a decent apartment with all the things I need. I am able to keep it reasonably clean, with some help from the girls (or maybe in spite of their help some weeks).
I have a few friends, and a couple good friends, but no really super close friends: people you confide in, and can share your darkest, brightest thoughts and ideas. Close friendship is hard work. Between being the best father I can be to my kids (spending time with them, talking to them, taking them where they need to go, etc), helping my parents, work.... I just don't have time to dedicate to building close friendships.
I don't party. I don't drink to excess. I don't smoke.
Oh well, life could most assuredly be worse. I could be in jail.
Sigh.
I am so fortunate in so many ways, I guess I should just take some time and recharge my batteries and remember what I have. Break the routine somehow.
Come on summer!
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