Wednesday, September 22, 2010

As Good As It Gets, My Disillusionment is Over

I hit a major milestone this week.  One that I'd been contemplating and ruminating over for several years.  A milestone that, although ignoble in some books, is an important milestone nonetheless.

After a short default hearing on Monday, September 20th, a judge at the Sacramento Superior Court granted my request for a divorce.  A journey that began with starts and stops nearly 12 years ago is finally coming to a close. A long journey of separation, reconciliation, separation again, and finally disillusionment is at it's end.  

As of November 11, 2010, I will be, legally, a single man again.  

Granted, and very very joyfully, that condition will probably not last very long, but, there you have it.   It's finally done. 

I have to give partial credit for the ease of this process to my soon-to-be official x-wife, who trusted me to go through the process uncontested, and not take advantage of her.  I thank her for her trust, and wish her the best in her new life with her boyfriend and likely soon-to-be husband. 

Some folks have greeted my news with gladness, others with concern for my well-being and my emotions.  

One gentleman, after learning I will officially have been married for 12 days shy of 26 years when the divorce is final, greeted me with a smile, a handshake, and congratulations at meeting another "25 year man".

I must say, though, my biggest emotion is relief.  Relief for a thing that is finally done.  Not like a monkey off my back, or a weight off my shoulders, just a serious thing that needed to be taken off my to-do list, and finally has been.  

Seven years of separation left plenty of time to deal with the emotions of a broken marriage.  The mourning is long over, and the healing has long been in process.  This is simply paperwork done, and I'm glad of it.

I am so happy and looking forward to the future.  My relationship with Alene is the most solid and trusting relationship I've ever had.  She's been supportive and very patient with me, and I owe her my heart and soul.   I love her with my very life, and I look forward to a long future together. 

In the words of Jack Nicholson in "As Good As It Gets".... she makes me want to be a better man.