Wednesday, November 30, 2005

I caught this fellow at the Sacramento Zoo, too. I believe I had his full attention.

Worked 10 hours overtime today. Did my part to help keep the expanding economy going! Don't tell me the US economy stinks. It just doesn't fly anymore.

My brother sent me a couple of jokes:

1. I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day but I couldn't find any.

2. Two antennas met on a roof, fell in love and got married. The ceremony wasn't much, but the reception was excellent.

3. A jumper cable walks into a bar. The bartender says, "I'll serve you, but don't start anything."

4. Two peanuts walk into a bar, and one was a salted.

5. A man walks into a bar with a slab of asphalt under his arm and says: "A beer please, and one for the road."

6. A dyslexic man walks into a bra....

7. Mahatma Gandhi, as you know, walked barefoot most of the time, which produced an impressive set of calluses on his feet. He also ate very little, which made him rather frail and with his odd diet, he suffered from bad breath. This made him (oh, man, this is so bad, it's good).....A super calloused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis.

Now I'm kinda pooped.

Tuesday, November 29, 2005

I Hate Job Interviews

I hate job interviews! I always come out of them feeling like a complete idiot.

"Tell us about yourself, and why you want this job?"

Well, after I finished high school I didn't have any real job prospects, so I got into government work. After I stop drooling on myself, I'll see if I can blow enough smoke up your butts with a stupid reason that you'll believe.

I swear, Napoleon Dynamite himself probably has a better chance than I do at this point. Sheesh.

I mean, I'm sure I did OK. But, I haven't interviewed for a job in, like, 5 years, and before that it was 10 years, and I felt like a blathering idiot.

"Tell us about a racial or cultural conflict you've had with a co-worker, and what you did to resolve it?"

What conflict? I don't HAVE conflict at work. But how do I say that?

I'm so freakin' smooth that I don't HAVE conflicts at work. Conflicts are for little people.

"u huh."

What? Why are you all staring at me?

"Tell us about a project or suggestion you made that improved working conditions in your workplace, and how you went about implementing it."

Huh? Uhm.... jeez.... I dunno. We don't get the chance to really do much to improve our lot in my dungeon-hell.... uhm, I mean... workplace, sorry.

Uhm.... I write neat memos, you want to hear about those?

"No thanks."

Lordie, just shoot me now. At least it's over.

What? Hey! What, the...How did this picture get here?

I dunno anything about it! Someone's hacked my account!

Oh, and this, today, too.

More Scientific

You have:
The graph on the right represents your place in Intuition 2-Space. As you can see, you scored about average on emotional intuition and above average on scientific intuition.Keep in mind that very few people score high on both! In effect, you can compare your two intuition scores with each other to learn what kind of intuition you're best at. Your scientific intuition is stronger than your emotional intuition.

Your Emotional Intuition score is a measure of how well you understand people, especially their unspoken needs and sympathies. A high score score usually indicates social grace and persuasiveness. A low score usually means you're good at Quake.

Your Scientific Intuition score tells you how in tune you are with the world around you; how well you understand your physical and intellectual environment. People with high scores here are apt to succeed in business and, of course, the sciences.

Try my other test!
The 3 Variable Funny Test
It rules.

My test tracked 2 variables How you compared to other people your age and gender:
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You scored higher than 33% on Scientific
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You scored higher than 16% on Interpersonal
Link: The 2-Variable Intuition Test written by jason_bateman on Ok Cupid, home of the 32-Type Dating Test

Just a pic

I caught this fellow at the Sacramento Zoo last week.

He had been laying down, contentedly watching the crowd watching him, until one of the zoo-keepers walked by. Then he crouched up and stared at the zoo-keeper without ever breaking eye contact as long as that zoo-keeper was in front of the cage.

Was kinda eerie. I'm glad he wasn't staring at me. Posted by Picasa