I let Camie take a day off, today. Last night was quite a jolt. She and I slept late. I didn't wake up till around 10:30. I think she was awake around 9 0r 9:30. We looked outside and decided, around 11:30, to take a drive up to Coloma and have a picnic. So we packed some lunch, and took off. The day was gorgeous. Camie enjoyed playing hookey with dad. On the way up Hwy50, we took a real short side trip, and went joyriding on the hills of Prairie City Road south of Hwy50. There's about a mile long stretch where, if you get up to about 60mph, it feels like a roller coaster! Camie was giggling and laughing, and I was glad to see it.
We went on up to Coloma, wandered around some of the buildings, sat by the river for a few minutes, then went and had lunch. We fed some little birds while we were there, and watched a couple of teen-age boys trying to impress their girlfriends by jumping off a rock into the ice-cold American River. They jumped in alright, but dang were they cold when they got out.
Along the way, during the day, Camie and I talked about possibilities and possible outcomes. She's really a smart cookie, and very practical about things. I mean, this could all wind up to be much adieu about very little, but she's aware it might not. When we got home I let her get on the internet and do a little research on tumors and such. She found a few things pertinent to her situation, but came away generally unimpressed. She's not showing any of the symptoms the sites all talk about. She has been having some dizziness, but I've only noticed it today, and it might very well be psycho-psomatic. Have to keep an eye on that.
She was making jokes before she went to bed tonight:
Dad, I can't go to school tomorrow... I have a tuuuuumor!
Dad, I don't want to do P.E., I'm dyyyyyyying!
Yesterday, her mom pointed out, when this is all done and we find out it's not a tumor, she can claim Arnold Schwartzennegger's famous line "It's not a tumor!" as her own.
She started bugging me a little more about staying home from school again tomorrow. I told her there's nothing wrong with you today, that wasn't there last Friday when you wanted to go work out in the gym and went running for 10 minutes on the treadmill, so you'll be fine tomorrow. Don't tell me that you are suddenly a fragile flower just waiting to shatter. Go to school. She chuckled at that.
I don't want to treat her like a fragile flower. I want her to be confident and strong going in to whatever it is, knowing that she's not fragile. I want her to learn to deal with life head on, and to deal with it, not hide from it. It's a fine line to walk, between being loving and caring for my daughter, and being overprotective and smothering. But I'm trying!
Keep praying it's a big nothing!
For a good explanation on what she's facing, click here.