Wednesday, March 03, 2004

Ate too much at lunch!

I took my dad out to lunch today. He's legally blind. Doesn't mean he can't see ANYTHING, just that his vision is so bad it's virtually useless in day to day life. He can't read a book. Can't even see your face if you're in front of him. But he gets around OK. I try to get out to breakfast with him each Wednesday. It's so much fun to talk and shoot the breeze. He's taught me a lot. He's a very wise man. But mostly, it's just a dad and son getting to know each other. I know him better now, in his old age, then I ever did when he was younger and healthier. My fault mainly; I was busy being married and helping to raise my girls. But I didn't make time for my parents, and that IS my fault. I'm glad I've had the chance to rectify that, and say the things you always hear people wish they'd said before their parents die. My mom and dad both know I love them, and that they gave me a wonderful gift: a happy childhood full of love and kindness and security. Can't beat that with a stick.

Took my youngest, CLJ, to her 2nd counseling session. She's 12. She'd been wanting to see a counselor for a long time. She's been dealing with anger and frustration over her mom and dad breaking up, which is perfectly normal. Her mom and I split up in June, 2003, but the split was in the making for several years. In fact, this is our 4th and final seperation. Yeah, quite a hell to put the kids through, I know, but I honestly thought we had it licked that last time we got back together. Turns out, we didn't. Anyhow, CLJ is doing SO well now. She's really come a long way, and she's such a great kid. I've encouraged her to be very honest with me about how she feels, and once she realized I was serious, she SHARED! Hehehe... She laid out for me just how much it sucks that her mom and dad broke up, sold the home, and moved her away from her friends. I really hadn't thought about that a whole lot. For me, it was a welcome release from the stress of being in a failed marriage. For CLJ (and her sisters) they were losing their home and their family, as they knew it. They had to adjust to a whole new set of rules and realities, where their mother and I were "released" from our stress. So, CLJ (and I, since it's a family type thing; I most just sit and listen) is seeing a wonderful therapist, and I hope her healing continues. She's a great kid.

My middle daugher, LMJ, who's 15, had a friend over this afternoon. Really nice girl. Had dinner with us. I'm glad LMJ stepped outside her comfort zone and invited a friend over. Good for her!

Went to choir tonight at church. Enjoyed the singing. It's funny; I love choir. I really like my church. I just don't know that many people there any more. I mean, I know tons of people, who they are, but I don't KNOW hardly anyone. Again, I think that's mostly my fault, because I'm a pretty quiet, closed-up person. I don't go to church on Sunday mornings because I work, and I gotta be honest, I havn't FELT like going to church on Sunday nights. Been tired, and it's easy to just slough things off when I'm tired. Even though Sunday nights is a really cool men's group that I'd been praying for. I guess the ol' Devil just grabs ya where your weak and works on that. I need to GO next week.

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