I took a big step last night. I asked my pastor if there was someone at church that I could talk to, who could just listen for a bit, and let me unload some things. Mind you, whatever I said (I really can't remember exactly what my words were) came out through tears and sobs and gasps. Paster W. said, why sure, how 'bout me? He and KM and a couple of others gathered 'round me and prayed. Man, it felt great to know that people care. I didn't even say a WORD about WHAT I wanted to share, or what was on my mind. They just saw a brother in need - and they gathered. I can't say enough good stuff about that.
After play practice tonight at church, I talked to a couple of men who've been through similar situations to mine. I found my situation isn't altogether unique, and I'm not alone in going through it. Then Pastor W. and I went over to Coco's and had some dinner. There was no great emotional overload tonight, just me sharing what's on my heart. It good to have a trustworthy friend that I can trust and respect, who'll let me unload some stuff. Pastor W. is a very different man than my first impression a couple of years back. He's kind, loving, caring, and strong. Not that I didn't like him when I first met him. My impression has just changed over the last few years, as I've gotten to know him a little bit better. Anyway, I feel like 10lbs has been dropped off my back. It was good to talk to someone who sees life pretty much the same way I do, who affirmed my thoughts and opinions. I feel much better.
I thank God so much for the guidance I feel when I need it. Literally. I'd be lost if I didn't have the spiritual Rock in my life.